time waits for no one...

and its true it doesnt. however wen you create timeless space then you eliminate time itself and thus nothing will wait for you and it will wait for you until time comes back. i am CAPPED! but i stocked up on some manga: sket dance (ALREADY READ MOST OF IT) and kekkaishi (getting pretty interesting). i really am an imperfect existence that only contradicts my existence my contradicting other existences. for example instead of exploiting some things ive learnt like piano i decide to read manga or play warcraft. and when will i be satisfied?? soon... very soon. uni will end soon as well, so i think that sez something. ive enjoyed my comfortable sheltered life and it will only end very soon ($10 sez nothing will happen) BUT HOWEVER, i do intend to INCLUDE changes into my life just to make it more exciting then it should be.

TODAY i was late to lecture because of a certain passport applier LOL its alright i enjoy spending my time points with you anyway. LOL IN FACT~~ i was going to call you this morning about how i wanted to accompany you to the post office and purposely miss lecture time, and it still worked out in the end. BUT today after lecture i did my best to spend time with me and it didnt happen (youll probably understand wen i tell you hahaha). and it happens again over and over and over that wen im around other people i put on a mirror mask which only reflects wat others see. tho when im with you i am my true self. sorry for the times wen i didnt notice your burden, though u may thing that it was convenient for me that i didnt notice but i dont think that at all. my relentless grasp for attention and no attention cycle is starting to piss me off. in the end i realised i need to stop my poser ways and delete it. slowly and slowly im starting to realise the meaning to it: change without changing. so rather completely becoming someone new i decided to always continually add-on to and upgrade myself. its not about being perfect, but an imperfect perfection. ill still be the same BUT with upgrades! hahaha to me it sounds SO stupid but i LIKE IT. this is the path i want to walk. and ill continually change paths coz thats wat upgrading is all about! >=D ohH yessSssSs. in the end its not to become a man or a more respectable person (though they do sound good) but i want to become me before anything else. and i KNOW for a FACT that you are the only one who can help me do this. im not gunna stick to those cliches anymore about how 'i need to do this myself' n shit because this is something im CHOOSING to do (NOTE: ive capitilizing some words so far because their the words im saying slowly in my head, like as if i was actually talking... i think it was called sub vocalisation?? u know about it it was in psychophysio) and im going to do it myy wayyy. yeh its just like tidus sed: 'this is my story', though later on he changed it to "this is our story" but u get wat i mean! and you know there will be times where ill depend on you, and u know what? youll have to just accept that i DO depend on you, not because its because of lack of independence (everyone is independant to begin with but it all depends on how you will perceive that independance) but because i CHOSE to depend on you. i want to start redefining the way i live and you can be witness, since i was your witness to your passport thing. HAHA dw im not dentrimental to your health, as i am to you and ive never once thought of you that way just so you know. ill cut this one short coz i want to read more kekkaishi! ^^ oh im suuuchhH an otaku! somebody stop me! HAHAHAH NO!!